To My Nephew

Dear little one,

I have asked God why. I have sat before Him many hours, waiting for a solution. I have wept many nights for your pain. I have begged for you to grow up healthy and strong. To be able to ride your tricycle, learn to write your name, get into mischief, and play make believe. I have pled for restful nights for you, for days free of pain. Your hurt is our hurt, your wounds afflict us all. And we sit beside you, holding your hand, knowing that is the best thing we can do...feeling helpless that we cannot do more. Oh that a kiss would take it all away! We would smother you with kisses until every blister was gone. If a song could heal you, I would sing through the hours until my voice became hoarse. But that is not how this works.

I hold you close and think long and hard about the role of God's hand in our lives. You know, dear one, that He knit you together in your mother's womb? Yes, his hands of omnipotent grace have molded you since the night of your conception. He is perfect, and His ways are perfect. He cannot make mistakes. This, too, He will use for His glory. And oh, think of the promise! "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time ARE NOT WORTHY TO BE COMPARED to the glory that will be reveled in us." Momentary affliction, little one. This world is not your home, and every moment you must understand this to be true. One day, your pain will be gone, and your strength restored. One day you will be made perfect. One day you will be free.

But for now we wait. How painful it is to watch those you love most weather a storm like this! I stroke your head and whisper every piece of wisdom and mischief Aunt Brookie would have taught you. How cunning are your eyes, with them you seem to communicate better than I ever have. You listen intently and seem to soberly consider such thoughts. But they are just that. Thoughts. Nothing more.

Hush my little one, hush. Think no more of doctors and surgeries and medicines and tubes. Think on pleasant things: whip cream, sunlight, and the feel of fleece on your cheek. Though sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning. There is a season for everything. Look! Can you see? a sliver of light is breaking, the storm will soon be over. And you will reach the haven where sorrows are no more. Look up, be not discouraged! Trust on, whatever befall! Remember, oh remember! Thy Savior knows it all...

Can you feel it, little one? His hands hold you, close, just as you love to be held. Feel how He lifts you! Not a stab of pain. Sense how He loves you, more complete than we ever could. O, we do not want to lose you, but how sweet your inheritance that waits! We would not keep you from such wonders, from eternity and its rest. He waits for you with open arms...may you run into them unabashed and healed. May such a day come soon.

My nephew, you are brave and beautiful. I thank the Lord for the wonders he has performed through your condition, and for the undying affection He's given us for you. I know that He who has performed a good work in you will carry it out unto completion until the day of Christ Jesus. The day when He will rejoice over you with singing and quiet you with His love.

May His peace be with your spirit. May His mercies flood each morning and His faithfulness pervade the night.

Sleep well, dear one. Sleep well.

And may dawn, with its promise, break through this darkness soon.

Proclaiming that which we all cling so desperately to:

He makes all things new.

A Lesson From Pizza

I passed a man downtown the other day. He was holding an empty white Starbucks cup in one hand and a crude cardboard sign in the other that simply stated: "I'm just hungry."

You can imagine the reaction of all of us, all of the thousands of people milling around. Our eyes shifted from the crosswalk to the flowers and pretended to register nothing in between, acting as though we didn't see him. And perhaps some of us didn't. It is justified, in one sense. I've made eye contact before only to have them call out to me because they know I see. I have trouble putting coins into their cups. You never know what the money is used for. His eyes were a watery kind of red, and he seemed tired.

So we passed him on our way to get pizza. And we passed him on our way back from pizza. And we had an idea, to give him what was left of our pizza. Different scenarios played through our minds, like him throwing the pizza back and saying that's not what he wanted (had that happen before), or having him set it down and continue begging (had that happen, too). But the force with which he took that box was staggering. We offered it casually, we had pizza, would he like it? He grabbed that box like there was no tomorrow and set off for the park with a look on his face that said plainly, "I'm done for the night." For a brief millisecond, I saw a kind of ravenous hunger in his eyes that surprised me. That man was hungry. How long he'd been hungry, I don't know.

But I have to admit something. I'm a bit frustrated at the whole thing. Because we gave him food, but we didn't do anything else for him. I don't mean materially, but more like sitting with him as he ate, talking with him. Treating him like he's human for a change. I didn't even consider this until much later that night. Too focused on friends and myself. But that's not Christianity. And it's not the way that the Lord would have done it. Too often I find myself making a sort of hit and run, wanting to do good but forgetting about the opportunities to be Christ. Christ made time for people. He listened. He was always about his Father's business. And out of love for Christ, my priorities must be the same.

Don't get me wrong, the Lord definitely said to fulfill the needs of those around you (otherwise you fit the definition of James 2), but Jesus often filled a physical need while intending to reach the need of the soul. And I think such behaviour is rare enough to floor people to listen.

Now, to remember to act. =)

Reasons

There are reasons for many things. But many things don't always cause reason.

Welcome! just think, in five seconds you could be on the best blog ever!!!

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Hm. Yet you remain.

I tried writing a blog once. It took a soaring leap as I updated it on mountain dew highs, and then crashed (like a child after hours of wall bouncing) when the soda supply ceased. I assure you, I am on no such high today. Sadly, I think those days of chugging multiple bottles of liquid caffeine for the fun of it have ended. I simply do it to function normally now a days. And since coffee is cheaper and I can't have caffeine past four unless I want to be staring at the ceiling until the wee hours of the morning, tapping listlessly on the wall by my bed for lack of anything better to do, it is safe to assume this is a caffeine free blog. (But caffeine addicts are most welcome.)

Why is this here? There are many possibilities:

1. Why not.

2. I was bored

3. There was something important to say... and is, and will be.

Which one do you think it is?

Perhaps, instead of telling you, I'll let you judge for yourself.